11/22/63: A Novel

11/22/63 - Stephen King I'm a reluctant fan of Stephen King. But this book was terrible.The main guy is a teacher. EVERY POSSIBLE CLICHE ABOUT TEACHERS is in this book. As in:1. Meticulously correcting oral grammar2. Catching some kids drinking at the sock hop, but letting them off easy after a heartfelt talk about actions and consequences3. Directing a play and thereby enabling the town's best football player to realize his intellectual strengthsand on and on.There are also a series of contrived plot twists. For example:1. A crazed ex-husband shows up out of nowhere to kill the female lead for no reason and with no explanation.2. AMNESIA. There's actually a case of amnesia in this story. Sure does throw a wrench into things!And then, there's the love story. Here are the problems:1. In my opinion, one or both of the characters has to be/do something cute or sexy or funny or interesting to merit falling in love. It can't just be like, "I realized she had a vagina and that I could potentially get all up in it. How I loved her."2. Stephen King writes about sex as though he's never had sex. I've said this about him before. You know that scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where he's talking about how boobs feel like bags of sand, and everyone's like, ".....?" That's what reading Stephen King's sex scenes is like. One could make the case that, because Stephen King is a dude, it's impossible for him to know what first-time sex is like for a woman, but you don't have to be exposed to too many books or movies or TV shows to know that it fucking sucks. There's no "OhmygodYES" the first time you have sex as a woman. There's crying.3. The reason why the woman is a virgin is that her husband of some years didn't want to put his dick in her "germy woman-hole." Really??????? That's not a thing that happens.And all of this is to say nothing of the super-ridiculous time travel rules. Like I know it's sci-fi and that he writes a novel every twelve days and all, but let's put in some effort, here.Skip this one and re-read Salem's Lot.The rest of this post has spoilers in it so stop now if you haven't already read it.So the guy changes the past and then comes back to find SWASTIKAS on everything, and encounters some teens on their way to a "Hate Meeting." Not extremely subtle or realistic, ya know?